When you hear someone talk about how often they cut people off, you might think they just aren’t peaceable people- and you might be right. But in most cases, it isn’t so! There is a whole psychology behind cutting people off. Many times, the relationships we choose to remain in are so toxic and should have been done away with a long time ago. But we fail to do so because we do not know when to cut people off and the importance of doing so too. Find out the actual psychology behind cutting people off.
Cutting People Off
Cutting people off is not as easy as many make it sound. When you think about how far you have come with the person and how much you will miss them if you let them go, it can be a tough decision to make. There are different reasons why you might choose to cut someone off which we will talk about shortly. However, on a basic level, we all usually know when it’s time to let someone go. The signs are always there and should never be ignored.
What Is the Psychology Behind Cutting Someone Off?
When you decide on cutting someone off from your life, it can be hard to take that step. As a matter of fact, it is often the last resort. There is a lot that goes on psychologically before you would be pressed to decide to cut someone off.
You Have Reached a Breaking Point
We all reach a stage when we can go no further and take no more. Refusing to tolerate your partner’s toxic traits any longer is another psychology behind cutting people off. Many people repeatedly exhibit toxic personality traits, and when you reach a breaking point, you would just have to let them go.
You Try To Find Alternatives
Like I already said earlier, most people don’t immediately resort to cutting off ties with someone just for the fun of it. In most cases, what you would find is that they have tried several alternatives before then to make it work out before they reached that breaking point.
You Value Yourself More
One important psychology behind cutting people off is that you recognize your self-worth. You value yourself so much that you refuse to let anyone continue mistreating you. So, you would rather cut them off.
You Feel Emotionally Distant From Them
Another psychology behind cutting people off is that you feel emotionally distant from them. When you no longer feel that emotional connection with someone, you might consciously and unconsciously sever your ties with them. It could be a result of them being insensitive to your emotional needs or ignoring them.
How To Cut Off Someone Who Hurt You
Now that you have decided to cut off that toxic person from your life, here are a few steps you can follow to go about it.
- Make your stand known. Let them know about your decision and make sure they respect it.
- Avoid trying to discuss things with them. They might try to manipulate you into changing your mind
- Set firm boundaries. Also, remove any form of contact that could continue communication. It could entail deleting their number, blocking them, or even moving away from them.
- When you begin to question your decision, remind yourself about how they treated you badly. And choose your mental health over and over again.
- Get all the support you can from family and friends
Cutting Someone Off Because You Like Them
When you decide to cut someone off because you like them, you have to be sure that your motives are right. You also want to make sure that you have thought it through carefully.
When Is the Right Time To Cut Someone Off?
It can be difficult to decide to cut someone off. But if you prioritize your mental health and general well-being, it is a valid decision that you must make. So how do you decide that this is the right time to cut someone out of your life?
When They Constantly Give You Negativity
When you discover that someone only gives off negative energy to you, you should be wary of them. If they are constantly opposing your ideas and making you feel less of yourself, then it might be time to let them go.
When They Only Take From You Without Giving Back
While it is true that relationships should not be transactional, it is also unhealthy if the other person only feeds off of you. If you have any associations with people who only take from you without giving back, you might want to consider cutting them off.
When They Break Your Trust
For quite a number of people, the subject of trust is a testy one, and understandably so. Trust, when broken, is nearly impossible to be regained. If you feel like you might have difficulty trusting someone who broke your trust again, then you just might have to cut them off.
When There Are Recurring Patterns
It is one thing to say you heard someone, it is another thing entirely to show them that you heard them. When someone repeatedly exhibits patterns you have called them out on and they don’t show signs of changing, that might be your sign that it is time to cut them off.
How Do You Cut Off Someone You Love?
Cutting off the people you love is as painful as it sounds. But when it comes to prioritizing yourself, it is a decision you have to make. You must realize that cutting people off is a process. Even though you have made this decision, it won’t just happen instantly. It doesn’t mean it won’t hurt. It will hurt. But remind yourself of the reasons you had to make this decision and take your stand. The best thing you can do is to also remove yourself from the situation altogether. Remaining in proximity with the person makes it difficult for you to completely cut them off without them manipulating you and making you doubt your decisions.
5 Types of People You Need To Cut Out of Your Life
It is impossible to not have the occasional arguments and misunderstandings in our relationships with people which can be resolved amicably. Nonetheless, there are some personality traits that you shouldn’t tolerate at all. You should associate yourself with people who bring out the best in you and always look out for you. Here are five (5) types of people you need to cut out of your life:
People Who Take Advantage of You
If you are one of those people who find it difficult to take offense at most things or to say no when asked a favor, then you might be taken for granted often. If you have such people in your life who take advantage of your inability to be assertive and exploit it for personal reasons, you don’t need them around you. They are one of those you need to cut out of your life.
People Who Are Always Negative
The kind of association you keep has a way of rubbing off on you. Now, imagine you surround yourself with people who are so negative in their thinking and ways. They would surely affect you and it won’t be positive. Cutting off such people from your life will do your self-esteem a lot of good.
People Who Do Not Take Responsibility
There’s nothing more annoying than a person who won’t take responsibility for everything. Not their actions, not their speech, not even their lives. If you find yourself surrounded by such a person who does this repeatedly, you would be better off without them.
People Who Are Jealous
You cannot have jealous people in romantic relationships only. Even in friendships, you can have jealous friends. When someone doesn’t share your wins with you happily, this is a toxic trait. And such a person should be cut off from you.
People Who Are Selfish
Another set of people you should be wary of is those who cannot sacrifice anything for their friend or lover. Avoid associating yourself with people who do not recognize your value and are willing to support you in the way they can.
Why It’s Important To Cut Toxic People Out of Your Life
Cutting people out of your life can be difficult because of the bond you share with them. It could also be that you have known them all of your life and you would miss them so much. Whatever the case may be, it is not enough reason to remain in a toxic relationship. Here are some reasons why it’s important to cut such people from your life:
They Can Affect You Physically
When you choose to remain with toxic people, what you do is that you put yourself at risk of being exposed to all sorts of hurt. You don’t only stand the risk of affecting your mental health, but you could also develop health-related problems like high blood pressure as a result of your unhealthy association with such people.
They Can Reduce Your Self-esteem
One of the greatest harm you can do yourself is to continue accepting comments from a person who demoralizes you. You do not need people who constantly contribute negatively to your sense of self-worth. The best you can do is to distance yourself from such people and cut them off.
It Gives You a Chance To Know the Important People in Your Life
When you have the opportunity to let go of the toxic people in your life, it gives you the chance to see the good ones you have. It makes you appreciate and value them better as well, knowing that they treat you with respect unlike the people you had to cut off
It Becomes Easier To Forgive Them
When you have had a chance to take a breath from all the toxicity they had in your face, it becomes easier to forgive them. You cannot experience forgiveness easily when you still get mistreated by those people regularly. But when you cut them off, you give yourself the option of prioritizing your well-being and also leaving room for forgiveness in the future. I should state however that you don’t have to let them back in because you’ve forgiven them. It just means you’ve chosen to leave the past in the past.
Is Cutting People Off an Unhealthy Coping Mechanism?
Cutting people off doesn’t have to be an unhealthy coping mechanism. It is not a bad decision to make in itself, especially when the motive is properly defined. Take, for instance, you find yourself in a romantic or platonic relationship with a toxic person. If this person is constantly making you feel bad about yourself and saying negative things, then cutting them out of your life would be the right thing to do. You shouldn’t give people access to you such that they can just trample all over you and lower your self-esteem.
On the flip side, other people quickly resort to cutting people off when there is a little crisis in their relationships. It could be a simple criticism that didn’t go down well with them. And they refuse to see things from the other person’s perspective, but rather just cut them off. If you make a habit of this, it can become a barrier to building wholesome relationships with people.
Frequently Asked Questions on Cutting People Off
Why is cutting people off hard?
It can be especially hard to cut off family members or romantic partners because of the depth of our love for them. The thought of losing them forever and how much we will miss them can make following through with the decision to cut them off quite difficult.
Is it wrong to cut people off?
No, it is not wrong to cut people off. It is a healthy decision to make when you find yourself in a toxic situation where you are mistreated, abused or manipulated.
Is it OK to cut someone off without explanation?
There are times when you just know that no matter how many more chances you give someone, they aren’t going to change. You could even give them ample time to make changes and they still won’t. At that point, you would just have to cut them off.
Is it OK to cut family out of your life?
You might be faced with the choice of cutting off a family member who mistreats you. And you might have to do it for the sake of your mental health. It is best to try other alternatives before resorting to this. When they all prove abortive, then you can choose to cut them off.
Conclusion
The psychology behind cutting people off is that you value yourself too much to keep yourself in a toxic situation whether with your partner, friend, family member, or work colleague. You are extremely valuable and the important people in your life must recognize that and treat you as such. Your inability to make a stand for what is right for you would only contribute to bringing down your self-esteem as the years go by.
