Have you had self-doubt before?
At some point in our lives, there must be a time when we get some sort of feeling that we might not be good enough; maybe we don’t just fit in, what if we fail, what if we don’t make it, let’s just stick to what we know. If you have had any of these feelings then it means you are simply human and that you have challenging goals that you want to achieve, because without challenging goals there would be no self-doubt.
What is Self doubt?
Self-doubt is the uncertainty one has about their ability or competence in performing a task or making a decision. In simple terms, self-doubt means a lack of confidence in oneself and abilities. Self-doubt can show up in different ways like the need for validation, self-sabotage, and constant need for reassurance.
In our society, it seems like there is some sort of validation needed before you know you have made the right decision or achieved something meaningful, and this makes it easier for you to lose confidence in yourself it also makes you overly worried about meeting the already existing standards.
It might interest you to know that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. So when you give self-doubt a chance it occupies all the chances you might ever have to be great which includes trust in yourself.
Your ability to overcome this self-doubt is what makes you stand out and it also gives you a lot of growth opportunities. But I guess it’s not that easy yea? Well if it was I wouldn’t be here.
Now, imagine if we learned how to walk as adults. So you are probably sitting on a chair or lying on the floor and you are done learning all the theoretical basics of walking but you have never practised and then your coach/trainer says you should give it a try today, at this point do you know all the self-doubting thoughts that would come to your mind? Like;
”what if I fall?”
”but I wasn’t able to learn how to eat properly?”
”When Fatima tried she fainted, what if I faint”?
”If I don’t eventually walk right I would be made fun of”.
With all these self-doubting questions, do you know some people might never be able to walk throughout their lives? Some people might eventually try to walk but when they fall they may never try again. In other words, self-doubt paralyzed them.
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will -Sussy Kassem
Sussy Kassem
This is exactly what happens with our dreams and goals whenever we don’t overcome our self-doubts, they get paralyzed too! Self-doubt will cast a shadow over them.
Come to think of it though, we were really brave as babies, we stood, took one step at a time fell and tried again just until we became perfect.
We are what we repeatedly do, excellence therefore is not an act but a habit.
Aris
Check out this life-changing article on addiction
Facts About Self Doubt
A list of things you should know about self-doubt;
They Will Eventually Show Up
No matter how confident or how far you have gone self-doubt can show up at your mind step any day, anytime especially when you are trying to do something big or challenging. It is for everybody, you can’t overgrow it!
They Are Not Totally Useless
Lol, how??? As funny as it might sound self-doubts come for a specific purpose which is to keep you in check, for you to know that you are not perfect, you are human and there is a chance that things might not go as planned and that is all. The only problem is that it likes to overdo and it is your duty to set your clear boundaries and overcome them once it has done its job.
They Are Many in The Family
Self-doubt has many siblings and close relations but the most prominent of them are procrastination and low self-esteem and they love to move in a vicious circle( keeps rotating without moving). Simply means one leads to another and with them you can’t move forward.
Self-doubt can lead to mental health problems. Chronic self-doubt can lead to problems like anxiety, depression, and emotional instability.
It Can Make You Sabotage Your Own Dreams/Goals.
Self-doubt can make you do something that can get in the way of your own goals while making you believe it is the right thing to do.
‘’I Just Want to Be Perfect Before I Start’’ (Perfect Time)
Yes, I could literally hear you screaming that. From the ”adult walking” imagination above, it’s just like telling your coach I just want to be perfect at walking before I walk. Exactly! It doesn’t make any sense and that’s how you sound when you say you want to be perfect before you start.
You can’t be perfect without overcoming your self-doubt, leaving your comfort zone, and actually doing your thing. Stand up, walk, let people criticise you, fall, stand again, know the disadvantages of walking with one leg, and learn to jump-walk it’s only this experience that can give you all you need and you can’t have this experience without overcoming your doubt.
Starting helps you figure out what you really want along the line. You don’t have to be an expert to do anything.
One of my friends was feeling reluctant about starting her cake business but she eventually started anyways, she was surprised at the lovely reviews she was getting. When she started posting her feedback she actually added a critic where someone told her there was room for improvement.
Believe me, I was so impressed. For someone who wasn’t sure about starting in particular that review was supposed to be enough to feed her self doubts and say ”I told you this wasn’t working”.
I can’t tell you it will be easy or you should expect all roses, you have to embrace it all, your mistakes, the rights, the wrongs, that way self-doubt wouldn’t have so much power over you. (Her coconut cakes are the best btw, check her out @ogey_dorian).
What if ‘’My Goals’’ Are Not for Me?
First, how did you know it is not for you? What are the challenges you went through that you think? what is for you?
Can you answer these questions? well, I guess not because you have not tried! You have the permission to ask this if you have the answers to my above questions because if truly you can answer them then I am sure you will be able to figure out what your goals really are. Overcoming your self-doubt opens doors to opportunities.
With self-doubt, every idea seems to have a flaw. Lastly, if you labelled your above goals it means you have invested some time thinking about them, then why waste more time doubting Them instead of going for them?
How then can I overcome my self doubt?
The truth is, that there is no generalized way to overcome self-doubt. self-doubt comes in different ways for different individuals, so you have to know what works for you. But I definitely have something for you as usual. All you have to do is to personalize the information below, then work with me lets slay that self-doubt, shall we?
Assume you are Fatima and replace your goal with hers, personalize this.
Name: Fatima (you)
GOAL: To start a podcast (what is your goal?)
Is it challenging?: Yes, because I have never recorded a podcast before although I listen to many.
Why do you want to start a podcast?: I have always been a mental health advocate, so I want to enlighten people on mental health using my voice. (what made your goal, your goal?).
Why haven’t you started?: I think I might have an accent, how do I even write my scripts? Ada’s podcast has so much audience, I don’t even think I will be interesting. What if I start and stop along the line I will be made fun of, I am waiting till I buy a mic. (write out all self-doubts).
Analyze all self-doubts critically one after the other. Know how true they are and counter them.
(Fatima) I have an accent, it is true and definitely not my fault that I have an accent, Is an accent worth losing my voice over? Chika said the world needs what I have to offer and my accent shouldn’t be limiting me. Besides, I am proud to be Hausa so it doesn’t really matter as long as my message gets passed and understood.
Ada’s Audience is large and I understand that I am not Ada, she is at her Pace and me at mine. I also understand that I might not have many audiences and positive feedback at the beginning. But I can only get them at all by starting right? This still isn’t enough to shut my voice. I’m doing this!
Do this with all the doubts one after the other.
2 months later,
Fatima finally started her podcast. (Fatima) ”Hey Chika, thank you so much I finally started my podcast, my only problem is that I want to monetize it and I want to open a youtube channel but I am not sure if I will look good in videos (self-doubt again).
Chika: You see what I meant by starting opens doors to more opportunities and the more opportunities come the more you have self-doubts but I’m sure you have learned how to overcome them. Feel free to book a session this time if you haven’t. 😉
Fatima might end up being a youtube creative expert but will forget that if she never started podcasting she might have never had the idea of using youtube.
Self doubt imprisons those who never overcome it
Frequently Asked Questions on Self doubt
Is self doubt a form of anxiety?
The DSM-5 did not list self doubt as a symptom or form of anxiety. However, a lot of people start to doubt themselves whenever they feel anxious. It is very safe to agree that self doubt and anxiety are closely linked.
Can self doubt be positive?
Self doubt can become something positive for us if we navigate through it correctly. It can help us review, and better prepare ourselves. In the process of overcoming it, we get better. That is not to say that self doubt has no negative consequences. If self doubt isn’t well handled it can cause more harm than good.
What is the root cause of self doubt?
It is difficult to trace self doubt down to a particular root cause because it can have different unique causes for different people. Although it is generally believed that comparison is one of the major root causes of self doubt. Others include stressful or traumatic events and their triggers.
A word from Psychmoments
Trust me, I know how challenging and difficult it is to just start, to make that decision, to continue pushing even without expected results, or even to start afresh after previous failed attempts. But you can’t let self-doubt kill your dreams, you don’t need to be sure about anything, you don’t need to wait to be perfect remember?
There is no perfect moment to start; launch that app, start your baking business, publish that book in your folder, start writing that script/song, or try another strategy. Don’t let self-doubt hold you down, you are enough! the world needs what you have to offer, we need you fearless! Start now! (drops mic)
Can suicide be prevented? Why not check it out here
