How Does Self-Concept Affect Communication?

Have you ever wondered why you can tell when someone has low esteem issues? I mean, it’s internal we shouldn’t be able to know. But more often than not we can tell when someone is not sure about themselves. It is evident in their speech and mannerism. So how does self-concept affect communication exactly? I will discuss this in detail in this article.

What Is Self-Concept?

“Who are you?” “What do you think about yourself?” What are your responses when asked these questions? Your response is your self-concept.

Self-concept is “the individual’s belief about himself or herself, including the person’s attributes and who and what the self is” (Baumeister, 1999). It is your perception of yourself, the opinion or mental image you have about yourself. 

Self-concept can grow or evolve over time as we mature. We form new opinions about ourselves from people and from our personal beliefs about ourselves. It is also believed that personality trait has some effect on self-concept. Our self-concept could be influenced positively or negatively.

Examples of Self Concept

A person’s self-concept can either be positive or negative. Below are some examples of self-concept:

• A student who thinks they are a slow learner

• A person who thinks they are a great listener

• A mother who thinks she is a great mom

• A person who thinks they are friendly

• A person who thinks they are a great speaker

• A woman who thinks she is a mistake

• A young boy who thinks he is a weirdo because all the kids in school say so

• A person who thinks they are not intelligent

• A person who thinks they are not artistic

How Does Self Concept Affect Communication?

Most behaviours are expressions of who we are on the inside. Some people become utterly defensive, and aggressive because they feel insecure. We are most likely to project the mental image of ourselves onto others through our behaviours, including communication. These things become evident in verbal and non-verbal language and even in the tone of our voices.

A person who grew up reserved and did not have anyone to encourage them to speak up or to even tell them that their opinion mattered would have difficulty communicating well. They might always stutter, sound unsure or avoid saying what they think or feel complete. They tend to develop self-doubt which is a result of their self-concept. On the other hand, another person who thinks about themselves positively will be able to communicate effectively. They would likely have a high level of self-confidence and would be able to communicate what they believe in and stand for without fear.

Self-concept reflects our values, and how we accept social norms. This means that how we respond to and prioritise specific issues also depends on how we see ourselves.

Do you know that a big part of communication is affected by our perception and interpretation of things and events? Self-concept has a big role to play in how we interprete information. Your interpretation of information will determine how you respond. These things are subconscious which means most times we are not even aware of the occurrence.

Self-Image and Self Concept

Self-image and self-concept are quite similar. As said earlier, self-concept is a person’s opinion about themselves based on what they know about themselves as influenced by different factors. In the same vein, self-image also has to do with a person’s opinion about themselves, based on how they see themselves physically and mentally.

Self Image and Self Esteem

The value or worth a person places on themselves is self-esteem. It can be high or low and it is influenced often by external factors if one is not mindful of it.  A person’s self-image and self-esteem add up to their self-concept. It adds up to their opinion about themselves. Therefore, how rich or poor a person’s self-image and self-esteem will largely affect their self-concept.

Why is Communication Critical to Self-concept?

You might wonder, “How does self-concept affect communication?” Communication is one of the factors that influence a person’s self-concept, whether positively or negatively. When you have good communication skills, it makes you feel confident about yourself. If people tell you that they think you’re a good speaker, it also improves how you feel about yourself and your opinion of yourself. It improves your self-concept in general.

As good communication skills affect self-concept positively, so also do poor communication skills affect self-concept negatively. If you lack the skills to hold a good conversation, it affects your opinion about yourself. You consider yourself lacking in that area and this consequently influences your self-concept.

Importance of Self-Confidence in Communication

Self-confidence is important in healthy and effective communication. If you believe that whatever you have to say to someone would be perceived as nonsense, that’s low self-confidence right there. And it is already standing in the way of effective communication because you would not say those things because of your preconceptions. 

Having self-confidence in communication is very important if we must take a stand for the things we really want or believe in. Nobody can magically know what you are thinking if you don’t say it. Your partner wouldn’t know what they are not doing well if you don’t talk to them about it if you don’t think your opinions matter in that relationship. It goes on to affect our other relationships as well; with our boss, a work colleague, a schoolmate, a relative and so on. Self-confidence in communication should be prioritized. 

How Self-Esteem Affects Your Social Communication

Just like I explained how self-concept affects communication, one important determinant of self-concept is self-esteem. The way you view yourself will largely affect the way you communicate and interact with others. A person with high self-esteem has a good opinion of themselves and will definitely project it in their communication with people. You can easily tell this about them as they will speak with confidence, perhaps even charisma. On the other hand, someone with low self-esteem will not have the same reaction and is more likely to avoid socializing altogether or to approach it with caution and fear. 

How you feel about yourself directly affects your confidence level as well. Your self-esteem determines your self-confidence level. Whether you have low or high self-esteem sets the tone for the kind of communication skills you can have as a person.

How Self-Esteem and Poor Communication Are Connected

The relationship between your self-esteem and poor communication skills is quite interconnected. One often leads to the other. You can develop poor communication skills as a result of low self-esteem. And you can also develop low self-esteem as a result of poor communication skills. 

If you have low self-esteem, you would already have a low confidence level as well. So without deliberate actions to get better, you are unlikely to have good communication skills. You would avoid situations that require you to speak to people about something you are not convinced you are competent in. 

In the same vein, when you have poor communication, you might have a series of episodes as a result where you experienced embarrassment and shame. This could in turn lead to you having demeaning thoughts about yourself, doubting yourself and losing your self-confidence. Ultimately, this could result in low self-esteem.

Assertiveness and Communication Skills

Assertiveness is “the quality of being confident and not frightened to say what you want or believe” -Cambridge Dictionary. It is a healthy way to communicate what you want or stand for and it is an important part of communication. 

It might not be wrong to say that most people who have low self-esteem are not assertive people. However, those with high self-esteem are very much assertive and it positively affects their communication with others.

Being assertive in our relationships with others is essential if we must effectively communicate what we want and do not want as the case may be. For example, some people find it difficult to speak up and say “no” in uncomfortable situations or requests. When people recognise this truth about them, they tend to ask more of such favours from them and manipulation sets in. knowing that they have some boundary issues. Consequently, people who lack assertiveness feel like other people are taking advantage of them because they are unable to say no to them. 

Your ability to be assertive, or your lack of it, goes a long way in affecting your communication with people and their perception of you too. You must find a safe ground where you don’t give so much to people at the expense of losing yourself.

How to Improve Your Self-concept and Self-esteem

We have established that self-concept affects communication, so it is important to work on our self-concept for effective communication. It is true that your self-concept and self-esteem are largely influenced by others, positively or negatively. All the same, it is not impossible to improve your self-esteem. You can have a better opinion of yourself and an improved sense of self-worth. There are some practical steps you can take to improve your self-esteem. They include:

• Make a list of your strengths and focus on them rather than your weaknesses
• Focus on positive thoughts only instead of negative ones
• Stop comparing yourself to others
• Love yourself for who you are
• Let go of hurt and guilt from the past that can be pulling you back
• Celebrate your wins
• Avoid being a people pleaser
• Try new things and go outside your comfort zone
• Avoid being around people that only bring down your self-esteem
• Always remember that no one is perfect and accept mistakes as part of your growth
• Set boundaries in your relationships with people and avoid putting yourself in situations where you are taken for granted or mistreated
• Learn to be assertive and say “no” when necessary

How to Improve Your Social Communication Skills

Good and healthy communication skills do not just grow on you. Neither are they for a select few. They can be learnt, they can be improved. Here are a few tips on how to improve your social communication skills:

Start small

Set small goals that will not get you overly worked up. An example is asking a stranger directions to a place or asking a question in class.

Observe people

If there are people that you admire for their communication skills, observe them and learn from them. 

Give people compliments

This can be very helpful for many reasons. First, it helps you to start a conversation with the person. It also makes the person feel good about themselves and consider you a friendly person.

Mind your body language

There are other ways we can communicate other than verbally and body language is one of them. Ensure you mind your body language when you are in a social gathering. Be relaxed and calm. Rather than anxious, frowning or distraught.

Improve your self-esteem

Oftentimes, low self-esteem is the root of the problem of poor communication skills. One way you can then improve your communication skills is to also improve your self-esteem. Work through your thoughts and opinions about yourself that might be affecting how you communicate with people. Then replace them with positive ones.

Read books written to help improve social communication skills

A good place to start is Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends & Influence People”.

Always evaluate yourself periodically

Check your progress and how well you are doing. And don’t be hesitant to celebrate your wins too!

Read about the side effects of smoking dabs.

Frequently Asked Questions on Self Concept and Communication

What influences self concept?

There are different factors that can influence a person’s self-concept. Some of them are communication, age, education, childhood, friends and family, physical appearance, age, the media, and gender, amongst others.

How do you know that someone has a positive self concept?

You know someone has a positive self-concept when they are confident and content in their abilities. They also avoid comparison with others and even if they compare themselves, they do it in a healthy way.

Do I contribute to the development of other people's positive self concept?

Yes, you can contribute to the development of other people’s positive self-concepts. Just as we develop our self-concept based on people’s opinions about us, so also do others form them based on our opinion about them. This is why we must be careful in what we say and how we say it to those around us.

How do you teach self concept in early childhood?

Positively influencing a child’s self-concept at a young age goes a long way toward making them happy and content adults. Some ways you can do this is by being generous with complimenting them rather than criticizing them; spending time with them; avoiding calling them negative things when they behave badly and carefully correcting them without giving them a wrong opinion of themselves that can go on into adulthood.

How can you develop your self concept?

To develop your self-concept, you need to, practise self-care, avoid entertaining negative thoughts about yourself, accept yourself as you are including your flaws, open your mind to positive thoughts about yourself, and avoid comparing yourself to other people.

Conclusion

A person’s self-concept has a remarkable effect on their social communication skills. But as we have learnt, they can still be improved. The experiences you might have had do not matter. Your communication skills can be worked upon. So also can your self-concept. Ensure you put in the work in the areas that you need to. And above all, filter the thoughts and opinions you have of yourself and remember not to entertain the negative ones. They are the ones that bring you down.